Musings on Love
by Ariana Malfoy- Lestrange
Summary: Significant, and not-so significant Harry Potter characters each muse on love. HermioneRon, Harry, Cho, Draco, etc.
1. Hermione

Musings on Love:  
  
Author's Notes- Each chapter follows a significant, or not so significant Harry Potter character's take on love.  
  
Hermione:  
  
Love is hopeless. Completely, and utterly hopeless.  
  
I mean, how long have I liked him? Since my first year? How many not-so subtle hints have I given him since then? Countless, and yet, he still doesn't seem to realize it, or acknowledge it.  
  
Yes, I know Ronald Weasley is not the brightest of people, but really: if practically the whole school knows it, why can't he? Maybe he just doesn't want to know it. Maybe he just wants to be friends.  
  
For the love of Merlin, have I been making a fool out of myself this whole time?  
  
No, wait. He got really mad in fourth year about me going to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum. Surely that accounts for something. I mean, I don't think he got mad for the reason he said he was mad, if you catch my drift...  
  
And yes, I know we fight ALL the time, but well, under that fighting, there's a current of other feeling, isn't there? Am I just being a delusional, hopeful girl? Am I obsessing over this way too much? Well, can you blame me? I mean, if you've liked one of your best friends for over five years, wouldn't you be a little frazzled too? Especially when you're uncertain as to which if the feeling is mutual.  
  
So love is hopeless. I mean, as far as I can tell, with nothing short of a miracle, will Ron and I get together, no matter how much I really want us to be together, I can't do anything about it, until he does something about it, without me making more of a fool of myself. And Hermione Granger does not go around making a fool of her self; let me tell you that.  
  
Why does he have to be so Ron about it all, though? I mean, Harry's bad enough with girls, but Ron is ten times worse. Why can't he just tell me that he is head over heels in love with me, so we can kiss and have a perfect fairy-tale ending? Why? Why, why, why?  
  
Great. Now in addition to being a Ron-obsessive compulsive know-it-all, I'm also starting to sound like Parvati and Lavender, which is what my absolute life-long dream is to sound like: a boy-crazy bimbo.  
  
But I really can't help it. Every girl wants a perfect ending, don't they? And while an insanely evil overlord may murder one of your best friends at any minute, I should still be able to get the guy, shouldn't I?  
  
Love can make you absolutely crazy. Sometimes I wish I could just grab Ron, and kiss him, full on the lips, just to get the obsessive feeling away.  
  
I mean, that's not my main goal in life: to find a perfect soul mate, but it's definitely on my top ten list of things to do before I die, right under finding a counter-curse for Avada Kedavra, but that's not the point.  
  
The point is I, Hermione Jane Granger, will die a virgin. There's no way around it, at this rate- Ron can barely admit I'm one of his best friends, how are we ever going to kiss?  
  
I could really smack him on the head right now for being so oblivious. And yet, that's one of the things I uniquely hate, and love about it, the very fact that he's naïve.  
  
You know, sometimes I feel like I should go to the Great Hall, stand on top of Gryffindor table, and shout, "I AM INSANELY IN LOVE WITH RONALD WEASLEY, AND I WANT TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN KISS HIM SILLY RIGHT THIS MINUTE!"  
  
Of course, if I ever pulled a stunt like that, I would most likely be carted off to St. Mungo's. Which wouldn't be very good for our relationship.  
  
So, I come to this conclusion about being madly in love with your best friend- it is absolutely hopeless.  
  
Author's Notes- Major R/Hr shipper here, if you can't tell. :D Next chapter will be from Ron's POV. 


	2. Ron

Author's Notes: Thanks to all my lovely reviewers for the last chapter!

Gwendolyn James- Thank you, it seemed like a Hermione thing to say. YAY for R/Hr. ::waves little R/Hr flag in the air::

Navalina- Thanks, Nav. Appreciate your review very, very much! :D

Audrey- Thank you. See, finally uploaded? ;)

Karri- Granger- Nice to see you back on again! Thanks so much for reviewing!

I'm doing this off the top of my head, if there's any reviewers who've I forgotten, I am so sorry! You all make my week!

Ron:  
  
Love is really, really confusing. It just does not make any sense whatsoever.  
  
I mean, one minute I despise her, the next minute I l-l...argh, I can't even say it. The l-word, okay? You know, the one that used more often than necessary. Yeah, that one...  
  
But, the point of the matter is, I obviously feel something more for her than I thought I ever would. She's really not my type, or what I would expect to be my type. Yes, she's beautiful, but she's also unbelievably smart and brilliant, and even irritating at times. But I still l-ll...you know, the l –word her.  
  
How could have things gotten so complicated? Weren't we okay with just being good friends? Well, maybe she was, I certainly wasn't. And it didn't help that I had to get all stupid, and jealous during the Yule Ball, but it really wasn't my fault. Wouldn't you have?  
  
He's an older, international Quidditch player. A legendary one, at that. I mean, yeah, I have better eyebrows, and I walk better than him, but still. Maybe he's an intellectual challenge. Maybe he's also committed Hogwarts, A History, to memory. Maybe he knows how to express his feelings. Maybe he's really romantic. Maybe he's every girl's dream guy, or at least, Hermione's.  
  
I'm no comparison. I can't even bloody hold hands with her without blushing my freckles off, how am I suppose to tell her I l-ll...oh, what the hell, LOVE her? How?  
  
I'm sure it doesn't help that we're at odds with everything together. I think, though, under all that...well, there is something, isn't there? Or am I just wishing, wishing rather hopelessly, for something that will probably never happen.  
  
She did say that I have the emotional range of a teaspoon. Maybe she feels I am incapable of feeling love.  
  
Have I single-handedly destroyed any possible chance of something else with Hermione by being the insensitive, stupid git that I am?  
  
I really hope not, but I think it's inevitable. She'd never go for me anyway. Right? She's the top of our year, why would she go for me, Ronald Weasley, who failed about as many classes as he took?  
  
If she's so good at knowing how guys feel about girls, why can't she just already know how I feel? Why do I have to tell her? Why, why, why?  
  
I don't even know when things started to change between us, third year maybe? That's when I started getting awkward, and she started getting prettier.  
  
I want to tell her...but I can't. I can't even say love without cringing, how am I supposed to tell her something like that?  
  
Love is really confusing. I can't even sort out my thoughts.  
  
Love makes absolutely no sense at all, and if you can avoid it, it would be much better for your mental health, I must say.  
  
Author's Notes- Harry will be next. :) Review, please!


	3. Harry

Author's Notes: ::cringes:: Lordy, that was hard to write. Sorry, but I LOVE love ( no pun intended ;)), so it was kind of odd to write it from the point of view of someone who is very hostile towards love, like I would imagine Harry to feel right after Order of the Phoenix. Anyways, I'm being incredibly lazy right now, due to a loss of sugar, so I'm not going to personally thank each and everyone of you, like I would usually, but you all can have this little message:  
  
TO EACH AND EVERY REVIEWER OF CHAPTER TWO:: BIG THANKS, YOU WERE ALL SO SWEET, AND HERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER, AND A COOKIE WITH MILK!  
  
Enjoy! :D  
  
Harry:  
  
Love is painful. It seems to hurt everything, and everybody. I don't understand why every part of my life is affected by it.  
  
Okay, my mother died because she loved me. Sirius died, for me, because he too loved me. Cedric- well, he didn't love me, but it was my fault anyway that he died. And my dad too, because if I had never been born, Voldemort wouldn't have gone after my parents.  
  
Don't you see? Can't you see what this so-called love has done to my life? I wish I'd never been born, because of love. At times like this, it makes sense to follow Voldemort's creed, maybe we are all better without love, and maybe love is better without us.  
  
I don't want to kill anyone, or hurt anymore. Love is simply excruciatingly painful, and when you're the Boy Who Lived, it hurts even more and guess what? I have to suffer all this in silence, because I am the Bloody Boy Who Lived, I'm supposed to be strong, a hero, a sodding Gryffindor.  
  
But I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, and I'm not. And I will never be. I'm not a hero; I just want to be normal. I want my parents back; I want Sirius, and Cedric to never have died, I want to be regular, I don't want to kill Voldemort, or have him kill me, I don't want to worry about all that. I don't want to be afraid of loving someone, in the likely event that they'll be the next victims.  
  
I don't.  
  
I really have no choice though. I don't want the blood of yet another person on my hands.  
  
Dumbledore says my greatest strength is my heart, and my ability to love. Well, I don't think it's so great. What if I weren't able to love, what if I was born without the feeling of love? Wouldn't life be so much easier, for me, and everybody else?  
  
I think it would. Except for the fact that Voldemort would probably conquer the world.  
  
Why did it have to be me? Why couldn't it have been someone else, Neville? Why did I have to be cursed with being Harry Potter?  
  
And don't give me that crap about me being the only one that can handle it. That's not true, I'm not special, I'm just normal. Or at least, I would be, if it weren't for the fact that Voldemort is constantly after my bloody head.  
  
Love is really horrible, if you think about it. I mean, look people die in the name of love, and people kill in the name in the love. And what's so great about a day up in the clouds, when you have to pay for it by her getting hurt? Or something worse, if possible?  
  
I don't know, I guess my life is just really screwed up right now. But then again, when hasn't it ever been not screwed?  
  
Getting off topic. My point is; love seems completely unnecessary. I sounded like the insane guy who's after my blood, with that last comment.  
  
What am I turning into? Some cynic? I don't know what I am right now, I don't know where I stand, all I know is that love, loving, and being loved, hurts.  
  
It hurts a lot. Maybe too much.  
  
Author's Notes: Yeah, I know, I know. Anyways, the next chapter will be a little easier for me to write...after all, more than half of my works are from her point of view, Cho! ::ignores rotten tomatoes and boos from Cho- haters:: Yeah, yeah, deal with it, or skip the upcoming chapter, and wait for the one after, which will be from my favorite Slytherin, Draco Malfoy. 


	4. Cho

Author's Notes: Hi everybody! I finally updated this one. Anyways, to my chapter 3 reviewers:

Audrey- ::chases after her with the sledgehammer:: Yeah, well this one I did all by myself! ::sitcks out her tongue::

Karri-Granger- Thanks! The reason why Harry didn't mention Cho was because he was talking about a different kind of love, the parental kind. He's really not mentioned in this one, either, sorry.

FSI- Thanks. Sorry, no H/C in this one either. This is strictly monolouges for the characters.

Ninde Annare- Thanks for your reviews! Here you go!

I hope you guys like this one, I actually really had fun writing it, even though it's sad. Review, if you please!

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Cho:  
  
Love is pointless. Or it seems pretty pointless, doesn't it?  
  
I mean, think about it; imagine loving someone so much, the kind of love that's supposed to cross all barriers, and move mountains, but then, get this- in a flash of green light, it's all gone.  
  
All of it. In the space of two seconds, it's just not there anymore.  
  
So all that energy, and time, turns into a memory. A small insignificant piece of the puzzle that's you life.  
  
Tell, how exactly does that benefit anyone?  
  
It doesn't, it doesn't help at all. If anything, it causes you more trouble, by not letting you sleep at night, and breaking into sobs over the littlest things- like the sight of the lake reflecting the cloudy gray skies, just like his eyes. Those seemingly little things can make you bawl.  
  
I suppose it's silly- grief, I mean. Why cry for something that will never come back, why cry for something that is not existent, why cry for something that could've been, but never was.  
  
Why cry?  
  
I'm not so sure I'm making sense right now.  
  
Sense seems to be a part of me that was lost that night when he came back, with his body. Sense doesn't exist for me anymore, nor does anything else.  
  
Or maybe I AM making sense. Maybe I'm making so much sense that I just don't want to listen to myself, because I know I have to move on, but I just want to ignore it. Moving on seems like a faraway place, something you talk about, and people constantly tell you about it, but I'm not ready. I'm not ready.  
  
Oh, I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. Maybe I should just forget about it- everything. The complexity of human emotion. The darkness that's so dark, I can't even believe how dark the darkness is. The sadness that weighs me down like a thousand bricks. The memories, like getting a triple- scoop strawberry-vanilla sugar cone when you haven't had one since you were a little girl; it reminds you of a time when everything was so much easier, and simpler. The color gray, the color of his eyes, the color of the sky.  
  
The warmth of his strong, Quidditch-toned arms. The scent of him, like clothes right out of the laundry; clean, fresh, and homey. The way he used to tuck my hair behind my ears. His laugh. His smile, oh Merlin, his smile. His way of making me feel as if I was the only one in the world. The way, when I used to rest my head on his shoulders, his shoulders used to always be firm, warm, and sturdy- they were the one thing I could trust to never change, they would always be there for me to put my head on. Or maybe the way he used to turn the pages of books, starting at the very edge of the page with his thumb in the middle, and his middle finger lightly scrunching/lifting the edge of the paper, making a slight crease, and a certain noise, like the rustle of leaves, this was the only thing that could reassure me.  
  
That's everything I need to forget, everything I need to just disappear from life.  
  
Can't you see? It's not the big things that hurt so much- it's the little things that stab you the most, the little things that he'll never do again.  
  
This in itself should purely demonstrate how incredibly pointless love is. I've written over two pages, and the tears don't stop coming, and the pain, the pain, doesn't stop hurting any less.  
  
How's that for pointless, huh?

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Author's Notes: Okay, next victim is Draco...the button is down there, just clicky, and type!


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